What We Don't Give Ourselves Credit For
by superstudentnursekate
Summary: The intentions of two adults and the reprocussions on two children.
1. Chapter 1

**What We Don't Give Ourselves Credit For**

We all have our flaws, those parts of us that have made us who we are.

Sometimes they can be our downfall and sometimes... Sometimes they can be the thing that saves us when we need it most.

That's what having children, most specifically Britney, would mean for Denise. It was all Linda could have hoped for.

Sadly, it seemed that would never quite be the case.

And it just seemed too unfair that she, the scatty blond Nurse without true stability in her own life, would be left to create it for the two young children that had been caught in the crossfire.

"_Linda?"_

She caught her breathe, re-entering the room with some force as her hand came to refocus on the spoon she seemed to have been endlessly turning in her cup; Caught up making a coffee on the bigger picture? Of course. Two innocent lives had been so prematurely ruined and she hadn't even got the energy – or patience – to try and correct what mistakes had been made. It seemed only fair that Britney was refusing to talk to her and Joe remained silent during their brief phone calls.

"_Linda?"_

He spoke again, having edged a little closer. At this moment, he seemed to be nothing but a hindrance in her life and yet the only true contact she had with the kids. She wanted to hate him for getting involved, making her feel (although never having actually said) that she wasn't fit to care for them but how could she? They trusted him, she trusted him... and most of the time what he said seemed to make sense.

"_Do they need me?" _

Dropping the spoon into the sink, she clasped the mug and turned to face him, supporting her back against the ledge of the sideboard. Their eyes met and he smiled. Instantly it seemed much brighter, much warmer...

"_Charlie noticed you'd gone missing. I covered for you... But I guessed the wisest thing would be to come to look for you."_

"_I'm on my break. Am I not allowed one of those these days?"_

Her tone had been abrupt. He stepped back a little in surprise. Instantly she mentally reminded herself that to cross that line would be a mistake, she needed at least one person who understood what kind of feeling seemed to be engulfing her.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_It doesn't matter."_

He stepped beside her, making himself his own coffee without a further word. It was his willingness to forgive her mannerisms was just another part of this situation she needed to learn to accept.

Lenny Lyons hadn't been a man whose path she had crossed often before these past few weeks. Yes, of course they worked alongside one and other, diagnosing and treating but other than that, their conversation had been limited. And if Linda was honest with herself, she had been happy with that... She never had been a fan of the over confident Scottish. And yet here she was, under the guidance of a man six years her junior with all the wisdom of a person who had been alive for decades more than herself; he had been through the hell that it seemed she now seemed to be inflicting unnecessarily on her own flesh and blood, something which he had described in great detail to her most recently. Of course it had been hard to listen but she needed to, wanted to even. Something about his experience, and how he seemed no longer to be haunted by the thought more than subconsciously, seemed to have touched something inside her chest that she long felt had been discarded.

But yet she couldn't, possibly even couldn't allow herself to use his pain to motivate her own choice.

Was that selfish?

It certainly felt that way.

"_Britney texted me. She's doing okay I think... Joe too."_

Or maybe it was guilty? They were within arm's reach and she was here, throwing herself into the work she loved so much, trying to bury that feeling of the ache that chorused through her chest with each thought of them.

"_I was thinking of maybe going to see them this weekend... You fancy it?"_

It seemed almost laughable to hear him say this to her. She had, in fact, felt the urge rising in her throat. And yet, she had chosen to suppress it.

What was his purpose? His idea about all of this? The idea that he could have actually taken an active interest in the children was confusing, and one that had left Linda questioning much more than she felt she was supposed to. Her thoughts were supposed to be focused on Britney and Joe, not on the intentions of the junior doctor whom before this she had barely spoken to.

"_They asked to see you?"_

"_No, I erm... I just thought it would be nice for them to see a friendly face, that's all. It isn't a problem is it?"_

Of course she wanted to say yes. Yes, it was a problem that her own niece and nephew preferred the company of a man they barely knew, to that of her own. Although they barely knew their aunt. But she didn't feel it right to deny him of the chance to spend time with them. It was a strange comfort to know some part of her was close to them, even if she did not feel brave enough to face them herself. So she offered Lenny her widest smile and nodded.

"_I'll visit them next weekend. I'm not sure I can make it this one."_

He let her leave the room in the cover of silence. He could not question her, did not want to push her. It seemed safer to let he 'be' for a while, amble over the choices she had and the decision that she would make, all of which he knew needed to be the right one for her, and for the children. He knew for now, he simply needed to be her friend, and theirs too.


	2. Chapter 2

**What We Don't Give Ourselves Credit For**

"_Lenny!"_

The excited body of a small boy fell against his legs, clinging with a grip that he feared might constrict blood flow.

"_Joe."_ He replied, trying with will to sound somewhat on par with the excitement radiating for the younger male. Stretching, he allowed an arm to cocoon the boy's shoulders, holding him a little close, relieved the grip now seemed to be softening a little.

"_Are you even supposed to be visiting us? We don't know you."_

The defiant voice of a female cut across the moment, snatching Lenny's attention in an instant. With a smile, he stepped back from the young boy and found comfort in the sofa behind them.

"_It's surprising where being a Doctor can get you." _

Britney chose not to respond; quietly pleased he had in fact been granted permission to see her and her young brother. There was disappointment still fresh in her chest, however, as their Aunt had still yet to make the short journey to see them... Not that Britney was sure she would in fact like to see her. It still stung. How could she put them here? Their mother was gone, they had never known either of their father's and now... It seemed a pattern was quickly beginning to form in their young lives. Britney could see this much clearer now.

"_So do you like it here? With Brenda and Mike is it?"_

Lenny questioned them both but was of course aiming the words much more toward the old sibling. Joe had gone back to his toys now, interest lost and childish behaviour leading him onward. But Lenny hadn't been expecting much more. Britney was the older of the two, and therefore the one whom he needed to address. He knew she would not allow a single person to harm a hair on the head of her younger brother besides.

"_It's okay. They're pretty cool."_

Lenny smiled once more. That was good, something was good. He had been hoping for small, insignificant things he could relay to Linda when he returned to work tomorrow morning. She needn't have spoken for him to know she needed something, however little.

"_Is Aunty Linda coming to see us?" _

Joe spoke, attracting both sets of eyes with immediate effect. He had stopped sending his toy cars out of control for a moment and his eyes were now dancing between his sister and Lenny. He was of course young but he knew, he knew that this wasn't right. It should be his aunt sat comfortably in the sofa, watching them and smiling, not a man they liked but barely knew. Most people underestimate children when it comes to situations like this one.

Britney threw a cautious glance in Lenny's direction, which was returned with equal intensity. What were they supposed to say to him? Lenny and Britney, both in their own way, knew that at some point Linda would visit but that this wouldn't occur for some time.

"_Not today, buddy, she's busy working... But maybe next weekend."_

Lenny felt satisfied with that answer. Hopefully the small boy would have forgotten what he was told in a week's time.

Hopefully.

Joe went once more back to his cars, leaving his elder sister to draw a breathe, relief washing at each crevice in her body. In thanks, she offered Lenny a smile and he returned the gesture. He knew almost as much as Britney did how important it was that Joe wasn't exposed to the full extent of the truth. He was far too young to understand the implications of having neither parent, and now seemingly no other living relative to take care of them. To him, Brenda and Mike were just a temporary solution, until at some point his mother or his aunt came to reclaim them. Britney also hoped for this to be temporary, more than anything, despite the nagging voice in her thoughts.

"_Do you want a drink?" _She asked, suddenly. Quietly.

Lenny nodded and watched as the teenager left the room, allowing the room to fall into a rhythm of just the young boy and his cars.

It had been a wise choice to visit this afternoon, he thought to himself. It hadn't served a real purpose, or not at least to the naked eye but part of him just felt a little... better, knowing these two young people knew they had at least one person they could count on. Not of course that he was blaming Linda, he knew space was what she needed before she made the right decision. But just for this afternoon, being here with Britney and with Joe, he felt at last despite his position as Doctor, that his life had worth. And he told himself quietly, as he waited a while for the return of the young girl and his drink, that he would not allow anything to take this from him.


End file.
